Avoiding the Expected

Intro

Hey all !! I would like to introduce you all to Sarah, the woman of my story. She is very family oriented, her husband and her kid mean the world to her. She is a very caring and giving person. Also she is very loveable, anyone can easily fall in love with her. She makes friends easily and can do anything for them. She is the kind of friend everyone would like to have in their life. She can have endless conversations. She believes a woman has so much love in her heart that she can fill this world with loads of love and still have more to share. She can't be angry with anyone no matter how much a person upsets her. She is a daring and a straightforward person and doesn't like to mix her words. She believes in letting one know how she feels about a person rather than hiding it. She hates to lie for any reason and hates to be lied to too.

She guards her heart very strongly and doesn't let anyone in easily, but once she let's someone in they remain there forever. She believes that everything happens for a reason and is always happy and content about her life.

Avoiding the Expected

I have just got back from the gym and start doing my morning chores when my phone chimes with an incoming text. Even before looking at it I know who it is from.

Araash:" Hi, it's so hot today so I'm enjoying your favorite ice cream Almond praline from B&R would you like some?? ( a pic of him eating the ice cream)


Arrggg he is enjoying my fav ice cream and sending me a snapshot looking so handsome. Looking at the pic has made me forget how my favourite ice cream even tastes. All I can think about is Araash....Ohh god what should I do with my stupid thoughts I need to control it and not think of him other than a good friend and that the kiss was a mistake.

Me: "hey, wow so lucky enjoying ice cream, but no thanks I just got back from the gym, burning some calories don't wish to add them on so soon".

Araash: "ohh yeah you and your workout, one ice cream won't kill you you know. Are you sure you don't want any I'm at the store near your house, I can come and drop some for you, you can always have it later. Especially you know in the middle of the nights when you are always hungry.

How the hell do I tell him I don't wish to see him. How am I suppose to control my self around him?? Repeating the same mistake twice is not a mistake anymore. Need to think of something fast....

Me: "Yeah you're right but you know what??I think I'm getting a cold so it's better I skip  ice cream this time".

Araash: "ohh is it.. What happened??You didn't mention anything about having a cold earlier and I am surprised you are refusing your fav ice cream. Most of the times you want to eat it and now you're refusing to have it even when it's being delivered to your door step? You can always have a little,you know they say cold kills cold.

How  do I tell him I don't want to see you, looking all handsome once again that to behind closed doors. This is all getting so weird. We both loved  catching up randomly at home or outside and now avoiding him ,so that we don't do anything stupid is just so Stupid!! My phone alerts me of another incoming text and I come out of my stupor. It's from Araash.

Araash:" ok I waited long enough for your reply and now I'm on my way to your place. See u soon..

Seriously !!!! How long did I not reply back to him, could he not wait for a few minutes for my reply?? And now I have to face him and explain to him the cold I never got. actually..I sneezed in the morning a couple of times so that does count as a cold rite??? Okay I have really lost it.

He is here in my space looking devastatingly handsome. He is wearing a white button down shirt neatly tucked in his grey trousers. His hair is all disheveled pointing in all directions thanks to his habit of running his hands through them all the time. His stubble has grown just perfect the way I like it on him. He looks delicious.

My plan to keep as much distance in between us is short lived as he engulfs me in his big arms and gives me a hug, he smells divine all fresh water and minty. He lightly pecks me on my cheek. He leaves me all rendered,speechless, motionless and useless and goes and gets all comfortable on the sofa. He looks so perfect sitting there on the sofa a complete Adonis. I come out of my trance and collect the ice cream from him. As I was cooking before he decided to come and interrupt me so, I continue with my work. There was hardly any work left but I want to keep as much distance as possible between us, so I stay put in the kitchen.  I have to ask him to leave soon somehow.

I turn back to go and talk to him and find him standing in the doorway of the kitchen. The look on his face has me worried. he is  chomping on his lower lip and the worry frown on his forehead is the giveaway to the thoughts he is having. Before I can say anything he starts walking towards me. 

The heart want what it wants

It's been a while since we have had a heart to heart conversation. Our chats are only as basic as it can get. I am upset with myself for pushing him into something more than friendship very soon into our relation. Sometimes something's need to be left to time. If things are meant to happen they happen and if someone is meant to be in your life they would be.  Knowing this I, could not let things go on the way they were going. So I decided to ask him for my reward which I, had won in our bet few weeks back.  Of course the reward would be to meet him and then I, would change his point of view about us being more then friends. 

I managed to convince him to come and meet me for a few minutes at home as it would be convenient for me. While I was waiting for him to come I checked and rechecked my appearance in the mirror, I wanted to look my best today. The few times we have met until now, he has also had some complains about what I was wearing. I have always been a jeans & t shirt gal so I, decided to stick to that but wore my best top. I knew I was going over the top about my appearance but I wanted him to see me in a new light today. 

So when the doorbell rang I tried to appear as normal as possible and opened the door with a smile on my face to the most devastatingly handsome guy I have seen recently. There he was standing giving me a killer smile wearing his wayfarers and a tight fighting t shirt showing off his muscles and a ripped jeans. With my mouth hung open like a goof  I, kept admiring him for a few seconds.. minutes... I don't know. Finally he took of his glasses and winked at me and asked me to invite him in. Coming out of dumbstruck I invited him in and went to fetch him a glass of water. I, started to think to my self what is his game ??? I knew why I, was dressed for but what is it with him?? Clearing my mind of the scattered thoughts I came out of the kitchen  to see him busy on a call he asked me to hang on a moment, I was more then happy to get the extra few minutes to admire him. I was wondering how come I had not noticed how handsome he was earlier. 

Once his call got over,he came up to me and me gave me a tight hug and apologized for his strange behavior for the past few days. I was taken aback by his apology as I thought it was my fault for causing all the friction in our relation. I made a point to tell him that he doesn't need to apologise as it is my fault. I told him that I, understand that he only sees me as a friend and I am okay with it. I also told him that I really like him and happy to have found a friend like him. He replied back that he is also happy to have found a friend in me, but he has started liking me more than a friend. He said he doesn't expect the same back from me but as he did not  want to hide how he feels about me and decided to tell the truth. He held my hands and looked into my eyes and promised me that he will always be there for me in all my happy and sad moments. Would always understand me and be by my side in what ever I, decide and guide and support me whenever needed. He hugged me tight and give me a peck on my forehead. All the while I was struck dumb, today for the second time unable to voice my happy opinion. He held me at arms length and said that my silence is killing him that I should say something. He wanted to know what I felt about him and all that he had just said. 

All I could do was just look into his eyes which were filled with adoration for me until I did not realise when the distance between us ended and I experienced the most beautiful kiss. I was floating in the clouds of seventh heaven and hoped that this is not a dream. 

Dont Doubt yourself

I, am wearing that goofy smile on my face all the time,ever since I have started speaking to him. Its not that we have not had arguments, but they have been on the most silly things possible. We had a bet one weekend, on who will be on time when we were suppose to  meet next, as he is not the most punctual person. The winner  could ask anything they want. I had won that bet as he could not make it on that day, as for the prize I, decided to ask for it when the time comes.

Everything was fine until, one day I was talking to a friend of mine. I mentioned him to her and how I enjoy his company. She thought it odd for a guy to talk to a women without having  any hidden agenda (sex on mind).I am quite sure not all guys in this world are perverts. But then whom am I, to guess. Somehow  I knew it was not the case with him, as my heart was not ready to accept the fact that he could be like other men.But the damage was already done,my friend had successfully made me judge my instincts and got me thinking about him, now I have doubts in my head which needed immediate attention.

So the next time when we speak, I had to be sure that he is not playing around with me and being nice to me for his hidden intentions.It was a difficult task at hand but I, wanted to clear my doubts and at the same time, did not want to hurt his feelings by making him realise that I, doubt his intention's.

Finally when we did speak , I decided to ask him what does he feel for me ?? We had never ever spoken about emotions so I, am sure he must have thought its really weird of me to ask such a question out of the blue. Being the nice guy he is, he gave me a very clear response saying that he likes me and is aware that I, am committed  and have a beautiful child period. He just considers me a "Good Friend" but then why was I, not happy with that response is beyond me.?? Its just weird that what I, had been always looking for was finally found and I wasn't happy about it anymore.

I don't want to have an  extra marital affair with him for sure as I,am really content with my married life. but is it wrong on my part if I, want that someone special who likes Me and makes Me smile all the time and makes me forget all the life tensions for sometime. Will I, be wrong if I, like someone more than a Friend?

With that question jumping in my mind I spoke to him as generally as possible until I, ended up asking him if I am his type of girl? Thankfully for that he did say yes and proved it to me by reminding me how  a few days back he came home to meet me first rather then going for his work. I was ecstatic hearing his response but then by that time he had started to doubt  about the direction of my feelings towards him. The next request he made to me made me see red. Apparently he wanted me to introduce him  to a friend of mine, and as expected I, fell right into his trap and said yes trying as much as possible  to hide the jealousy I felt.

Unfortunately for me he sensed my wayward thoughts about him and started pulling back. I just hope he doesn't pull back so much that it will be difficult to deal with. I have been avoided by him for the first time since we started chatting. Its been more then a day  now, and have been asked to be patient and give him some time. 

Have been waiting for few days now and running low on patience wondering what next......
I, am wearing that goofy smile on my face all the time,ever since I have started speaking to him. Its not that we have not had arguments, but they have been on the most silly things possible. We had a bet one weekend, on who will be on time when we were suppose to  meet next, as he is not the most punctual person. The winner  could ask anything they want. I had won that bet as he could not make it on that day, as for the prize I, decided to ask for it when the time comes.

Everything was fine until, one day I was talking to a friend of mine. I mentioned him to her and how I enjoy his company. She thought it odd for a guy to talk to a women without having  any hidden agenda (sex on mind).I am quite sure not all guys in this world are perverts. But then whom am I, to guess. Somehow  I knew it was not the case with him, as my heart was not ready to accept the fact that he could be like other men.But the damage was already done,my friend had successfully made me judge my instincts and got me thinking about him, now I have doubts in my head which needed immediate attention.

So the next time when we speak, I had to be sure that he is not playing around with me and being nice to me for his hidden intentions.It was a difficult task at hand but I, wanted to clear my doubts and at the same time, did not want to hurt his feelings by making him realise that I, doubt his intention's.

Finally when we did speak , I decided to ask him what does he feel for me ?? We had never ever spoken about emotions so I, am sure he must have thought its really weird of me to ask such a question out of the blue. Being the nice guy he is, he gave me a very clear response saying that he likes me and is aware that I, am committed  and have a beautiful child period. He just considers me a "Good Friend" but then why was I, not happy with that response is beyond me.?? Its just weird that what I, had been always looking for was finally found and I wasn't happy about it anymore.

I don't want to have an  extra marital affair with him for sure as I,am really content with my married life. but is it wrong on my part if I, want that someone special who likes Me and makes Me smile all the time and makes me forget all the life tensions for sometime. Will I, be wrong if I, like someone more than a Friend?

With that question jumping in my mind I spoke to him as generally as possible until I, ended up asking him if I am his type of girl? Thankfully for that he did say yes and proved it to me by reminding me how  a few days back he came home to meet me first rather then going for his work. I was ecstatic hearing his response but then by that time he had started to doubt  about the direction of my feelings towards him. The next request he made to me made me see red. Apparently he wanted me to introduce him  to a friend of mine, and as expected I, fell right into his trap and said yes trying as much as possible  to hide the jealousy I felt.

Unfortunately for me he sensed my wayward thoughts about him and started pulling back. I just hope he doesn't pull back so much that it will be difficult to deal with. I have been avoided by him for the first time since we started chatting. Its been more then a day  now, and have been asked to be patient and give him some time. 

Have been waiting for few days now and running low on patience wondering what next......

My First Blog

Its so simple to form thoughts in your mind and think them loud too, but when it comes to writing
it down why does the mind go blank?? I have been staring at this blank space for about an hour n a half now and just decided to type what ever comes to mind. I hope who ever reads it likes it.

I dont know much about life,I live it as it comes and most of the times I am content. I have been happily married for 8 yrs now with a kid of 5yrs. As we had to relocate after getting married I do not have many friends in the city I live in. I never realised I needed anyone to talk to as  I was really happy and content.  Untill one day I decided to try out few Social apps n make a few friends. This slowly turned a habbit of talking to strangers online through social apps. Now I am an Addict. 

I like a few profiles on the app and once matched started chatting with them. Slowly the conversation moves to Whatsapping. Most of the times a guy would make a move on you within a day or two. I dont entertain such guys n as they are looking forward only for sex they dont waste their time too. Things changed when I met this one guy who is completely opposite to the guys around. He is the most purest soul I have met in ages. he is the most funny guy n makes me laugh all the time. I get a smile on my face just thinking about him. The only  problem I was facing while talking to him was my guilt as he is younger to me. I did tell him a few times too but it was never a concern to him.

After chatting for a few days and talking to him over the phone we decided to meet. The first time we met was really special. We didn't get much time to spend cause of the time restraints but we both knew that we could be really good friends. As we started talking regularly we got to know that we both have a lot of things in common and we both would be happy about it, thinking that we were lost souls who have found each other.We were virtually on the way of becoming Best of Friends. I did invite him home once for lunch and he met my son too. As he loves kids he hit it off with my son. Everything was at its best I was the most happiest person to have found a really great guy as my friend.

Everything was good untill one unfortunate phone call......