Dont Doubt yourself

I, am wearing that goofy smile on my face all the time,ever since I have started speaking to him. Its not that we have not had arguments, but they have been on the most silly things possible. We had a bet one weekend, on who will be on time when we were suppose to  meet next, as he is not the most punctual person. The winner  could ask anything they want. I had won that bet as he could not make it on that day, as for the prize I, decided to ask for it when the time comes.

Everything was fine until, one day I was talking to a friend of mine. I mentioned him to her and how I enjoy his company. She thought it odd for a guy to talk to a women without having  any hidden agenda (sex on mind).I am quite sure not all guys in this world are perverts. But then whom am I, to guess. Somehow  I knew it was not the case with him, as my heart was not ready to accept the fact that he could be like other men.But the damage was already done,my friend had successfully made me judge my instincts and got me thinking about him, now I have doubts in my head which needed immediate attention.

So the next time when we speak, I had to be sure that he is not playing around with me and being nice to me for his hidden intentions.It was a difficult task at hand but I, wanted to clear my doubts and at the same time, did not want to hurt his feelings by making him realise that I, doubt his intention's.

Finally when we did speak , I decided to ask him what does he feel for me ?? We had never ever spoken about emotions so I, am sure he must have thought its really weird of me to ask such a question out of the blue. Being the nice guy he is, he gave me a very clear response saying that he likes me and is aware that I, am committed  and have a beautiful child period. He just considers me a "Good Friend" but then why was I, not happy with that response is beyond me.?? Its just weird that what I, had been always looking for was finally found and I wasn't happy about it anymore.

I don't want to have an  extra marital affair with him for sure as I,am really content with my married life. but is it wrong on my part if I, want that someone special who likes Me and makes Me smile all the time and makes me forget all the life tensions for sometime. Will I, be wrong if I, like someone more than a Friend?

With that question jumping in my mind I spoke to him as generally as possible until I, ended up asking him if I am his type of girl? Thankfully for that he did say yes and proved it to me by reminding me how  a few days back he came home to meet me first rather then going for his work. I was ecstatic hearing his response but then by that time he had started to doubt  about the direction of my feelings towards him. The next request he made to me made me see red. Apparently he wanted me to introduce him  to a friend of mine, and as expected I, fell right into his trap and said yes trying as much as possible  to hide the jealousy I felt.

Unfortunately for me he sensed my wayward thoughts about him and started pulling back. I just hope he doesn't pull back so much that it will be difficult to deal with. I have been avoided by him for the first time since we started chatting. Its been more then a day  now, and have been asked to be patient and give him some time. 

Have been waiting for few days now and running low on patience wondering what next......
I, am wearing that goofy smile on my face all the time,ever since I have started speaking to him. Its not that we have not had arguments, but they have been on the most silly things possible. We had a bet one weekend, on who will be on time when we were suppose to  meet next, as he is not the most punctual person. The winner  could ask anything they want. I had won that bet as he could not make it on that day, as for the prize I, decided to ask for it when the time comes.

Everything was fine until, one day I was talking to a friend of mine. I mentioned him to her and how I enjoy his company. She thought it odd for a guy to talk to a women without having  any hidden agenda (sex on mind).I am quite sure not all guys in this world are perverts. But then whom am I, to guess. Somehow  I knew it was not the case with him, as my heart was not ready to accept the fact that he could be like other men.But the damage was already done,my friend had successfully made me judge my instincts and got me thinking about him, now I have doubts in my head which needed immediate attention.

So the next time when we speak, I had to be sure that he is not playing around with me and being nice to me for his hidden intentions.It was a difficult task at hand but I, wanted to clear my doubts and at the same time, did not want to hurt his feelings by making him realise that I, doubt his intention's.

Finally when we did speak , I decided to ask him what does he feel for me ?? We had never ever spoken about emotions so I, am sure he must have thought its really weird of me to ask such a question out of the blue. Being the nice guy he is, he gave me a very clear response saying that he likes me and is aware that I, am committed  and have a beautiful child period. He just considers me a "Good Friend" but then why was I, not happy with that response is beyond me.?? Its just weird that what I, had been always looking for was finally found and I wasn't happy about it anymore.

I don't want to have an  extra marital affair with him for sure as I,am really content with my married life. but is it wrong on my part if I, want that someone special who likes Me and makes Me smile all the time and makes me forget all the life tensions for sometime. Will I, be wrong if I, like someone more than a Friend?

With that question jumping in my mind I spoke to him as generally as possible until I, ended up asking him if I am his type of girl? Thankfully for that he did say yes and proved it to me by reminding me how  a few days back he came home to meet me first rather then going for his work. I was ecstatic hearing his response but then by that time he had started to doubt  about the direction of my feelings towards him. The next request he made to me made me see red. Apparently he wanted me to introduce him  to a friend of mine, and as expected I, fell right into his trap and said yes trying as much as possible  to hide the jealousy I felt.

Unfortunately for me he sensed my wayward thoughts about him and started pulling back. I just hope he doesn't pull back so much that it will be difficult to deal with. I have been avoided by him for the first time since we started chatting. Its been more then a day  now, and have been asked to be patient and give him some time. 

Have been waiting for few days now and running low on patience wondering what next......