Untill..Forever

I don't know what to say, " I am sorry I asked you to be there. Of course you have a life and can't be stuck with me forever." 

" are you out of your Mind when you say this, I would always be there for you, what I meant was I cant be there physically for you anymore. " 

" what are you trying to say?? I am really confused now please explain." 

" what I mean is I won't be around you anymore as I have got the job I had applied for in the U.S." 

" wow that's huge. Congrats I am so happy for you." I give him a hug. I am genuinely really happy for him he has been really stressed about this job for a long time now. 

" so when is the party?? You can't get away with just a ice cream this time. I hope you know that?" 

" that is what we were celebrating today actually. And of course i will treat you. " 

" yeah you better but once I am back from my vacation next month will plan for a nice dinner or lunch at one of your favorite restaurant. " 

" no we would rather go to the cafe where we met for the firs time" 

" hmm yeah but I thought as we would be meeting after almost a month so we could do lunch or dinner and spend some more time as we would have so much to catch up on. Don't you think??" 

" hmm yeah sure let me park your car first, we can always Plan this latter." 

" oh yeah it's quite late. I am so excited for you that completely lost the track of time." 

We get out of the car and say our goodbyes.  

I am about to get into my home when Araash calls me, " Sarah, wait a second I need to talk to you." 

" now ? Can't it wait till tomm ?? "

" no it can't.  I need to tell u something before I choose to be a coward again." 

" now I am really confused what are you talking about? Just say it sooner and get it over with I am really worried." 

" I am sorry I can't meet you again." 

" what why? What's wrong?" 

" just please listen to me before I chicken out again. Ok?" 

" ok yeah" 

" I can't meet you again cause I have to leave for the U.S. Next week and I have a lot of paper work to complete. I won't get time to meet you in between all the formalities to be competed.  I hope you understand. So this is the final goodbye." 

" I don't understand how is it possible does it not take time to do all the formalities ? And what to do u mean by final goodbye? Of course we can meet before you leave. " 

" yeah I know but as this is a urgent opening everything is being fast tracked and..." 

" wait a second what if I had not met you today? Would you have left without meeting me? Or even telling me that your leaving the country?" 

" of course not I would have met you even if for a short while. I was just waiting for you go get in touch with Me again. I had decided to give you two more days and then would have contacted you myself as I would running out of time. " 

" I don't know what to say, other then that I will miss you terribly." 

" same here Sarah more then you would ever know. The last few days that we have not spoken has made me realize quite a few things. I have to be honest with you. I think about you a lot. All the time, actually. In the morning,at night,in the middle of the day. It's you. It's just you." 

I am just lost in his words. I don't know what to say. Is he confessing what I am thinking he is? I just decide to hear him out. 

"After seeing you today I have realized that it's going to be very difficult to say good bye to you, I know it's going to be weird for you, but it's at the best interest for both of us. Now I am going to give you a hug and say goodbye and you have to promise me not to stop me, always remember me with a smile. " 

" you will keep in touch won't you?" 

" yeah I will, but you know how it will be once I get there will be busy settling down so won't be available all the time, but when ever you need me just buzz me and I will be there for you." 

"Ohh I am going to miss you so much." I hug him really hard I don't want to leave him.we stand there for a long time Araash doesn't move me until it's been ages. 

" Sarah I really need to go now, it's really late for you too please open the door and get in so I can leave." 

I fumble with my keys as I can't see straight with all the unshed tears in my eyes I can't even find the key hole that's when he hold my hand and pushes the key into the keyhole and opens the door for me.

He turns me into him and kisses my forehead gives me his dazzling smile, even through the my hazzy vision I can see that he is struggling to say something. I don't push him but give him a hug and say bye and tell him again how much il miss him. He just bends down and whispers in my ears I Love you! 

Iam stunned and can't form a word. He just pushes me into the house and closes the door and leaves.

Nothing can come bettween U & I



I'm having the best time with my friends. What a difference it makes, to just get a glimpse of a person you like and it changes your entire mood. Me and my friends have been dancing and drinking like the world is going to come to an end. In the process we have successfully caught the attention of many guys around us. Somehow I, have noticed that no one has approached us through out the evening.

 

After dancing for a long time I, decide to take a break, so I go to the bar and sit by the corner and order a drink. Just when I'm about to take the first sip of my drink a guy approaches me and introduces himself. He is really smart but a bit cocky, I  immediately take a dislike to him. Slowly he starts invading my private space I try to tell him to back off but he wouldn't. "Just one dance please he says, common I have been noticing you for long, I would really love to dance with you, just once please."... "  I'm seriously not interested." I respond.  Just when he is about to open his mouth to say something else, the voice I am dying to hear since two days comes from the side " The lady said NO" And he casually holds my shoulder and kisses me on my forehead. " everything's fine??" He asks me, and looks at the guy. The guy gets the message and leaves immediately.

 

" Hi" he says, " How have you been??"

" Hi, I have been fine... How about you??"

" Good to see you after so long and like this, I'm really happy to see this side of you, fun and carefree. I really had a tough time holding off guys from approaching you tonite, somehow this one beat me to it."

 

" Thank you" ,I reply.

 

He continues " And you really look very beautiful today, I am sure all the guys in this club would agree to that, infact most of my friends were unable to take their eyes off you."

 

" You just being sweet now, thanks anyways." I respond.

 

My friends have all come back and join me at the bar, so I introduce them to Araash he gives them all his dazzling smile and they all literally swoon, he is soon surrounded by my friends and he is in his element enthralling them. I can't stop smiling looking at his face he is so handsome. He is so friendly that he easily fits into any group just like he is now talking to everyone as if he knows them for ages.

It's really late by the time we all decide to leave.  We all say our goodbyes and since I have had a few drinks, Araash decides to drive me home. Finally we are alone, there is so much that needs to be said but so less time. As it is past midnight there isn't much traffic to delay the short journey to my house. All too soon we are parked outside my house. We both have not said a single word the entire journey and now I have to leave . Just when I am about to say something he beats me to it " There is something really important that I need to tell you Sarah".

 

" Ok, then please do" I reply.

 

" This is not the right place or time to say any of this but I can't waste anymore time without telling you." He responds

 

" Ok then just say what ever it is quickly as I too need to say a few things too". I say anxiously.

 

"OK, you go first then", he says.

 

" I have thought  a lot about you. I am sure you know this already, that you mean a lot to me, you are more then a friend to me, you're really special and important to me. And whatever has happened between us was inevitable,  I accept that.  So I don't blame you or myself for that. Having said that, it doesn't mean that we can continue to behave as we please. We should respect the boundaries that I am limited to as I'm married.

"Did I make any sense??" I ask him...

 

" Yes,  a little, but of course you're right, I completely agree with you. "

 

" Now, I need you to promise me something Aarash, "

 

" Ok, what is it " he asks.

 

" Promise me you would never leave me you will always be there for me no matter what always.... forever."

 

He is just staring blankly ahead not saying a word, so I nudge him.

" Hello, what's the matter ?? Is it too much that I'm asking for ?" Please say something"... I'm waiting eagerly for a reply.

 

" I am sorry. I can't give you what you're asking for. " he responds...

All I need is YOU.

She is exactly where I want to keep her for my entire life...in my arms. I just can't let her go ever. I just can't seem to stop kissing her beautiful face. I am so engrossed in her that when she starts pulling back I, hold her more tightly and seal our lips and remind her what she is running away from. I can't stop touching her, I want to feel her everywhere.

I'm so engrossed in the moment that I don't realize that she is trying to free herself from my vice grip. I immediately leave her when I see the panic on her face. That is not the expression I want to see on her face when she is with me. I do not want to make her feel uncomfortable. I try to hold her again but she just moves away and stands by the window with her back towards me.


"Sarah please listen to me", I say. I am confused all of a sudden.... she was surely with me on the same page seconds before.

"Please just leave Araash, there is nothing to say at the moment and I don't wish to hear anything too. Please just leave me alone. "

She goes and opens the door signalling me to leave. I want to say so many things to her but looking at her face I know that she won't listen to anything with an open mind. When I reach at the door; I give her a quick hug and kiss her forehead. She doesn't even return my hug, but I don't mind at least she didn't pull away. With that thought I pull away." I will call you ok please don't overthink, promise me".?? I say.

"Please don't. Give me some space I will reach out to you myself. "

My heart just stopped beating for a second ,listening to her. But with a heavy heart and words unsaid I leave.

It's been 2 days since I have last spoken to her our chats have stopped too. I thought it's better to give her some space, she will contact me when she thinks it's right. I am trying to be patient here. But not talking to her is killing me I'm unable to concentrate on work or sleep or eat well. All I have achieved is smoking packets of cigarettes. I decide to  give her 2 more days max and then reach out to her, enough of this no talking business.

I have opened and stared at the chat window hundred times, dialled his number a thousand times and disconnected the call.  The problem is I, don't know what to say. After all that has happened just having a casual talk is not possible, at least not by me. And more over he has not bothered to contact me at all. As if it doesn't matter. So what If I said don't call or msg, I was upset so I said it at that particular moment. He should have at least tried to break the ice.

I have just about survived the last two days without talking to him. Have been so absent minded about everything. All that transpired has been running in my head all the time. Can't stop thinking about it. Initially I was full of guilt but more the time passed I started looking at it as the inevitable, if two people are attracted to each other this is bound to happen. Have decided not to analyse anything anymore and just go with the flow. I hope I have taken the right decision.

I have been tired of whaling and drowning in self pity and waiting for Aarash to get in touch. Thankfully I have a friend's birthday party to attend tomorrow. I hope that helps me change my mood. I love hanging out with my friends on any given day, but I am not in the greatest of moods to attend a party, having not spoken with Araash since two days. Since it is a very close friend's birthday I decided to go.

I am trying to keep myself involved in the conversations around me, all are having fun expect me. I am physically here but my mind is wandering away towards Araash. If he would just call and talk to me once my mood will be so much better. My mood has not gone unnoticed by my friends, but they have decided to leave me alone.

Since the last few minutes I am getting a feeling as if someone is watching me, I look around but find no one. I blame the jitters on the drink and decide to use the ladies room. On my way back I get the feeling of being watched again so I stop just before I am about to reach my table and look around. There he is standing with a drink in his hand by the bar counter shooting daggers at me. He tips his glass to me and blesses me with his glorious smile and just like that my mood is uplifted.

Best things happens unexpected

Araash is home and we have been chatting for a while when the door bell rings. I open the door to find my neighbour with a bowl in her hand. She gives me a sweet smile and says;

" Hi, here I made you some sweets, wanted to share it with you guys." I was shocked, she surely read my expression bang on so she continued " actually it's for Araash I saw him coming". She gives a shy smile. I am really wondering what the hell is happening. He comes and stands behind me and takes the bowl from my hand and smiles at my neighbour and thanks her. She has melted all over the entrance of my house. He has that effect on women.

I'm seriously shocked I have been living in this flat for years now and no one has been neighbourly ever. He is happily chatting with the lady and eating whatever she has made and singing praises of her cooking. I try to get his attention to ask him what the hell is happening but he is busy flirting with the lady. And she is swooning all  over the place.

Once she  leaves I, ask him what was all that about, in a way of explanation he responds since I told him last time that the  ladies where not impressed about him hanging around, when my hubby is not around he devised a plan on buttering them up instead. And Voila!!  it worked. Now they are super impressed by me and are happy to have me around so I can praise them all.

What can I say about that now, I was truly worried about them creating a scene about him visiting my place so often but then this is wrong. Buttering them up is not a solution.


" You know what Araash, even if your little scheme has worked it is not the right thing to do" and moreover it  was not his decision to go about  and talk to them like this without discussing it with me first.The more I think of this the more angry I get.

" Are you serious, I have just sorted out an issue that you were worried about and instead of being happy you're being angry."

" Yeah cause I live here with my family and don't want issues."


"First of all its not even an issue.Why should you be bothered about what others think, who visits you and when? You did make an issue out of nothing."


"Its easy for you to say,since you don't live here and you don't have a family to be responsible for."

"I hope you actually don't mean that, I did all this for you cause I don't want you to feel awkward or someone to say something to you because of me."

" It has become awkward now can't you see ? I think it's better if you don't come here for a few days."

" What seriously?? " He responds.
He holds my arm and looks into my eyes and asks me again," Are you serious of not wanting to see me again ?" There is so much anger in his eyes. But I know I'm doing the right thing. So I reply " Yes I think you should not come here anymore."

He leans his forehead to mine and closes his eyes and says " please don't mean that." I know that If l don't pull back now this might end up into something I have been avoiding. I try to wriggle out of his hold. This  just makes him hold me tighter and says " please stop getting away from me" and just like that he stoops down and kisses me lightly on my lips.

It was just a feather touch but I have lost all my rational thoughts and move my lips to seek his for better contact. He quickly holds me by my waist and secures my lips tightly. I have my hands at his neck now and my fingers in his hair. We both moan into each other's mouth. Seeking and demanding to let the other in. He slowly moves his hands on my back and holds me tight against his firm chest. I am completely engulfed by him now and can't move an inch. There is absolutely no space between us, it was as if we are one.

We are both breathless now, he is smothering me with kisses all over my face and when I try to move away he moves in again forcefully. His kiss is demanding and punishing at the same time. He is trying to tell me not to push him away from me. He pulls me closer and holds me tight, his hand is on my waist which he slowly moves upwards.

Addicted to YOU

"Hey I just finished cooking,I was going to join you". I say on a smile.

"Cook well or burnt everything up"?? he asks with a raised eyebrows.

" Smartass" I say come let's sit.

We sit adjacent to each other on the sofa and the tension is in the air again. None of us wanting to break the silence.

"Okay, this is really weird" Araash says.. "but I need to clear the air so that You stop behaving like this".

"When I first met you I honestly didn't know your going to be this important to me Sarah".

"Me neither" I respond.

"You have to understand that I am not used to telling anyone how I feel, but by being like that and keeping my feelings to myself has made me loose important people in my life in the past. I can't bare the fact of loosing you at any cost. Having said that I, also very well remember that you are married and I can't be anything other then a good friend to you. What we did last time was at the heat of the moment, I do not blame you or myself for it. It was suppose to happen and it did. I don't want you to run from me thinking of that. Rather I would want us to be practical about it and handle the situation in a mature manner. Okay, Did I make any sense" ?? He asks.

"Yes a little",I reply. Honestly I am ADDICTED to YOU. You have become a very important part of my life in a very short while. Which I am not sure is a good or a bad thing. I'm the happiest when I'm with you, so I would want you to be around for a long time too. I have started seeing you in a new light for the past few weeks, I am trying to get my head around it so please give me some time. I need you as a friend for life so please be a little patient with me. I need some space seeing you like this distracts me you know"...

Me  just saying that has put a smug smile on his face. He raises his eyebrows at me and says, " ok next time I will come shabbily dressed so you won't get distracted by me."

" Smartass" I reply. And the door bell rings.

My neighbor is here looking all pleased with herself. " Sorry to bother you" she says..."I wanted to know if the maid is at your place, she hasn't yet come to work for me".

" No, she left long back." I reply . My phone starts ringing, so I ask Araash to check who is on the other end. That's when I notice that she is trying to peak into my house and see whom I'm talking to. I give her a polite smile and ask her if she needs anything else.

" Oh no." She responds. " Is your husband not well is he at home today?" She asks.

" Umm..... no he has left for office long back. That's just a friend of mine who is visiting me".I respond.

" Ohhh.... ok sorry to have disturbed you then. " she says with a mischievous smile on her face. And she saunters off.

I am left wondering what was all that about. I turn to Araash who is busy talking on my phone. I raise my eyebrow at him and he mouths sit back and enjoy. I soon realize he is being his usual self with a Telemarketer on the phone. Once he is done harassing them with his silly questions his attention is diverted back to me. We sit there talking for a while until, we realizes it's been really long since he has been here.

"Ohh ......please go now i say , I'm really bored of you."

"Ohh...... yeah you have been entertained by me for the last hour or two and you are complaining. So mean of you. Wait till I won't be available to meet you anymore then you will realize my worth" he says.

"Oh ...yeah we shall see about that" I say. But just hearing that he won't be around one day to hang around with me, just like today ,has me missing him already.

He gives me a tight hug and we say our goodbyes. I open the door to let him out. A gang of aunties who live in my apartment, standing and chit chatting  look at Araash and start talking among themselves. The ever present gentleman that he is, he says hello to all of them. And then turns and winks at me and says "Adios baby."

All the ladies are just staring at each other now, and I'm sure I have given them a new topic to gossip about in the days to come.

Avoiding the Expected

Intro

Hey all !! I would like to introduce you all to Sarah, the woman of my story. She is very family oriented, her husband and her kid mean the world to her. She is a very caring and giving person. Also she is very loveable, anyone can easily fall in love with her. She makes friends easily and can do anything for them. She is the kind of friend everyone would like to have in their life. She can have endless conversations. She believes a woman has so much love in her heart that she can fill this world with loads of love and still have more to share. She can't be angry with anyone no matter how much a person upsets her. She is a daring and a straightforward person and doesn't like to mix her words. She believes in letting one know how she feels about a person rather than hiding it. She hates to lie for any reason and hates to be lied to too.

She guards her heart very strongly and doesn't let anyone in easily, but once she let's someone in they remain there forever. She believes that everything happens for a reason and is always happy and content about her life.

Avoiding the Expected

I have just got back from the gym and start doing my morning chores when my phone chimes with an incoming text. Even before looking at it I know who it is from.

Araash:" Hi, it's so hot today so I'm enjoying your favorite ice cream Almond praline from B&R would you like some?? ( a pic of him eating the ice cream)


Arrggg he is enjoying my fav ice cream and sending me a snapshot looking so handsome. Looking at the pic has made me forget how my favourite ice cream even tastes. All I can think about is Araash....Ohh god what should I do with my stupid thoughts I need to control it and not think of him other than a good friend and that the kiss was a mistake.

Me: "hey, wow so lucky enjoying ice cream, but no thanks I just got back from the gym, burning some calories don't wish to add them on so soon".

Araash: "ohh yeah you and your workout, one ice cream won't kill you you know. Are you sure you don't want any I'm at the store near your house, I can come and drop some for you, you can always have it later. Especially you know in the middle of the nights when you are always hungry.

How the hell do I tell him I don't wish to see him. How am I suppose to control my self around him?? Repeating the same mistake twice is not a mistake anymore. Need to think of something fast....

Me: "Yeah you're right but you know what??I think I'm getting a cold so it's better I skip  ice cream this time".

Araash: "ohh is it.. What happened??You didn't mention anything about having a cold earlier and I am surprised you are refusing your fav ice cream. Most of the times you want to eat it and now you're refusing to have it even when it's being delivered to your door step? You can always have a little,you know they say cold kills cold.

How  do I tell him I don't want to see you, looking all handsome once again that to behind closed doors. This is all getting so weird. We both loved  catching up randomly at home or outside and now avoiding him ,so that we don't do anything stupid is just so Stupid!! My phone alerts me of another incoming text and I come out of my stupor. It's from Araash.

Araash:" ok I waited long enough for your reply and now I'm on my way to your place. See u soon..

Seriously !!!! How long did I not reply back to him, could he not wait for a few minutes for my reply?? And now I have to face him and explain to him the cold I never got. actually..I sneezed in the morning a couple of times so that does count as a cold rite??? Okay I have really lost it.

He is here in my space looking devastatingly handsome. He is wearing a white button down shirt neatly tucked in his grey trousers. His hair is all disheveled pointing in all directions thanks to his habit of running his hands through them all the time. His stubble has grown just perfect the way I like it on him. He looks delicious.

My plan to keep as much distance in between us is short lived as he engulfs me in his big arms and gives me a hug, he smells divine all fresh water and minty. He lightly pecks me on my cheek. He leaves me all rendered,speechless, motionless and useless and goes and gets all comfortable on the sofa. He looks so perfect sitting there on the sofa a complete Adonis. I come out of my trance and collect the ice cream from him. As I was cooking before he decided to come and interrupt me so, I continue with my work. There was hardly any work left but I want to keep as much distance as possible between us, so I stay put in the kitchen.  I have to ask him to leave soon somehow.

I turn back to go and talk to him and find him standing in the doorway of the kitchen. The look on his face has me worried. he is  chomping on his lower lip and the worry frown on his forehead is the giveaway to the thoughts he is having. Before I can say anything he starts walking towards me. 

Guilt Trip

Intro

Hey guys I, would like to introduce you all to Araash, the hero of my story. He is very career oriented but a shy individual, who hides his feelings really well and has lost a few important people in his life because of it.
He has learnt the hard way to open up and say how he feels about someone. He can never start a conversation and prolong one, he needs to be pushed to be engaged in a conversation, he definitely cannot take compliments and give any at all. He is a very protective person especially towards the women in his life. He is caring and loving as he thinks being loved is a boon. He is not a possessive person but definitely a Jealous type. He hates being lied to, no matter what the situation is. For him a promise is a promise never to be broken and once you are in his life you will remain there forever.

Guilt Trip

It has just been a few minutes since Araash  left, and it sinks into me that the kiss has ended. I am all flustered, thinking that I have done the most stupidest thing ever possible. It's really going to be difficult to face my husband after doing what I have done. He has given me complete freedom, knowing that I wouldn't break his trust ever, neither take advantage of it. Suddenly, the door bell rings, I open the door to my hubby who is home early today looking all pleased with himself. I try to get over the guilt of what I have just done.

Seeing him back home soon, is making me feel like a child who has just been caught doing some kind of mischief. I try  as much as possible to avoid him and keep leaving the room he is in. Until he senses something is wrong and asks me what's going on? He mentions that he saw Araash leaving in a hurry. He asks me to come and sit down beside him and tell him what's wrong. I try to tell him that nothing was wrong,that he had just got a call and had to leave immediately due to some emergency. But I had already caught his attention and he knew that something was bothering me. I,keep trying to avoid him, I take his black coffee and go and join him trying to act as cool as a cucumber. I decide to just try and avoid the topic of Araash and myself and start asking him about his work, the trick works only for a few minutes and he asks me again what happened.

"Did he not behave well with you"?? He asked;

"No, I said you know how he is so well mannered and cultured, I don't think he can ever behave badly with anyone".

"What is the problem then, did you both fight about something? And don't hide just tell me whatever it is you know I don't like you hiding anything from me".

Just hearing him say those words has made my guilt grow by 100%. I really regret it the most now. I have broken the trust of the most important person in my life. I just can't lie about anything in life ever , but this is not something I wish to tell anyone ever. So I just end up telling him, "No we actually had an argument, you know over him not being punctual ever. He was suppose to come here by 4pm and he came an hour late. You know how much I hate it when anyone is late, so I was pissed with him. And he thought I was just over reacting. So you know the entire thing got blown out of proportion. While we were arguing about his habits he got a call and he had to leave. So that's about it".

"Hmm, he said "I know how you are about people being punctual but it's ok sometimes,you should let it go". Right in cue his phone started ringing and he got busy.

Crisis averted, I thought to myself, but at the cost of lying which made me feel horrible about myself. I think me and Araash need to talk about this incident that just happened and how this needed to be avoided in the future. I think the ideal thing would be to stop this here and not make it more complicated but my heart won't let that happen. I think it's time to lay  down some ground rules for our relationship.